(Gen 24:10-27; Mtt 11:16-19, 25-30) JG White ~ 10:30 am, Sun, July 5, 2026, FBC Amherst

The first weddings of my career that I performed on my own happened thirty years ago, in Parrsboro. Every year since then - except for 2025 - I have officiated at one or more weddings. We have been in churches and chapels, living rooms and parlours, community halls and public parks, under a natural stone archway on a beach, and upon the deck of the Bluenose II. I have not yet been skydiving or scuba diving to perform a wedding ceremony. Every single one has been in Nova Scotia.

The large Baptist Church (at least this size) where Sharon and I were wed on a Sunday morning, is now torn down completely, except for the five-pointed steeple. Many of you have been married; more than once for quite a few. Some of you were wed right here in this place. You all have stories you could tell. 

Our First scripture reading today is a wedding tale - a long and involved story of engagement, we might say - and from ages long past. Several thousand years ago, in fact. This was quite a different culture from what most of us know, as white European settlers, in the 20 and 21st centuries. The usual, Protestant, Christian wedding ceremony has well-known vows, and the giving of a ring or two. The very traditional words actually say:

With this ring I thee wed

With my body I thee honor

And all my worldly goods with thee I share

Those are not the words Sharon and I used, though we have done what they say, come to think of it. In the saga of Genesis 24 the one ring we hear of is for the nose of the bride to be, given her by the servant of the groom’s father, who sought and found her. It is clearly an arranged marriage (Is God the Matchmaker?), though we notice that Rebeccah is asked if she is willing. She decides for herself. Yes, I will go to the land of my relatives, to wed a man named Isaac. 

My question this week has been: what do we learn about marriage in our Faith tradition? I grew up learning very definite Christian morals and values about marriage - as much from Church culture as from any Youth Group lessons or sermons in worship. Did you too? And in my own naive little way, I did not grow up to expect the society in which we live now, in which the sexual revolution has continued, and many former judgments about people’s private lives have calmed down and dissipated. 

A couple months ago I dropped in on some old friends. We used to live in the same town. Now, he is retiring from ministry and she is retiring from nursing. As we chatted, they spoke of one of their four children, who I knew is a gay man. My friend mentioned his son is in a throuple. A what? A throuple… which I quickly figured out, though I’d never heard the word before. Instead of a couple, it is three people in a committed, romantic relationship. Uh… well… wow… Sounds different and difficult to me. I’m not sure what on earth to think of that. Human life is always getting more complicated.

And yet… maybe there is nothing new under the sun, as it says in Ecclesiastes chapter one. Back in the day of our Bible patriarchs and matriarchs there certainly were men with more than one wife, plus their servants who bore them children. Abraham had a child, Ishmael, with Hagar before he had Isaac with his wife Sarah. 

So, we can’t just say that the Bible teaches definite morals and ethics for individuals and couples and families. The values of the Hebrew people - the chosen people - have evolved through the centuries, bit by bit. To make claims about ‘biblical marriage’ is to choose certain chapters and deal differently with others. 

How is God involved in our private lives? Are we following the Way of Jesus for us in our relationships, including our romantic ones, in our family decisions? And what would we say now are the basic teachings we have for children and young people today, about life together in friendship and family? What values are Christian values?

These are real questions I have today, one quarter of the way into the 21st century. The answers come, I dare say, from our conversations with God… and one another. We keep on in fellowship with Christ, and with the people in our lives. Here, at First Baptist, our Christian values are likely very much like yours of Trinity-St. Stephen’s United. We might not know what to say yet about ‘throuples,’ but we respect and would bless two men getting married, two women, two whatever the description is people. 

What do we believe now about unmarried couples? I guess I was so trained in what marriage is about that I have always struggled a little bit with the many people (most people?) who are together without marriage. I still have a conservative Christian down inside me. Though I have not counted, by now I have probably officiated at one hundred weddings. Of those couples, I’m guessing five of them had not lived together before their wedding. 

Perhaps our greatest values shall include the freedom of people to think for themselves, choose for themselves, relate to God directly for themselves, and allow others to be different. Again, I emphasize the divine connection, the spiritual guidance we can find in God. 

Another great value is love: lovingkindness, and compassion. It is feeling, it is caring, it is wanting, it is doing. For the sake of others. There is always more to learn about how to love one another, in all the forms of love we have. Remember thirty something Jesus telling his disciples a ‘new command,’ to ‘love one another as I have loved you.’ The Greek language of the New Testament had four words for ‘love.’ We have ‘love,’ and ‘compassion,’ I guess. Today’s particular bit of compassion from Him was to take His yoke, His easy yoke. Find rest for your soul, from Jesus.

Our work with the stories of holy scripture is a vital segment to our faith, and another value to keep. So we work with a story like Genesis 24. We seek the voice of the Spirit, speaking through the millennia, to us now. 

A Bible commentator I listen to every week spoke of today’s scripture lesson about finding Isaac a bride as a challenge for him. It is quite a story, but He really wondered, ‘What is there for us today about God, from God in this chapter?’ It is such an ancient, old-fashioned story of a family. 

What does the story in Genesis 24 say about God? Well, I notice there is mention of the LORD, YHWH, at least ten times. What are these moments?

Abraham’s unnamed Servant is to make an oath, to swear to the LORD, to take on the mission and find a wife for Abraham’s son, Isaac. (verse 2) Abraham says that the LORD will send an Angel ahead to make this happen. (7) 

The Servant prays to the LORD for success, in detail. (12-14) After he is greeted by a maiden name Rebeccah, the Servant watches to learn if this is indeed the one for Isaac. (21) Once it is clear, he bows and worships God, and blesses God out loud. (26)

At last, Rebeccah’s brother, Laban, goes out to bring the Servant in for the night, and calls him ‘blessed of the LORD.’ (31) But the Servant insists on telling the whole story to Laban, starting with his master, Abraham, and Sarah, who are greatly blessed by God. (35) At the end of the Servant’s story, Laban and his father agree this was all from the LORD. (50) God had spoken. (51) The Servant once more bows himself to the ground before the LORD. (52) 

This ancient man, and those he works for, all are seeking divine guidance, and credit God with showing the way and making the right things happen. They naturally will pray or worship God when the moment requires it. They see in ordinary events the hand of God.

Within the canon of scripture, these events are more about the mission of the people, though they happen in the lives of one family of people. What I mean is, the story of finding a wife for Isaac is not about how you or I can find our partner. It is more about the faithfulness of God to bless the world using these people. It is a story about the Hebrews. So it is at the root of our present story of serving the world together, in Christ.

‘With this ring I thee wed.’ The final images of our scriptures paint the picture of a wedding banquet. In this case, the groom is Jesus the Christ, the Lamb, and the bride is the Church, the whole Church of history – past, present and future. It is indeed in union with Christ that we, the people of Faith, have something to celebrate, and can bless the whole world.